Monday, May 23, 2011

Welcome to my blog!! I am not sure what I will be writing about but it will be about my crazy life. I wanted to start this blog back when we adopted our youngest boy, W, but I was a walking zombie for about 4 years so now I start to record our life. I wanted to document our family so my kids will have something of me to look back on and remember our times together.

As a sort of “get to know you” start, I have been married to my husband, Wade, for 21 years this summer and we have two boys. C is 16 years old and whatever I write about him will probably be censored because well, he is 16 and paranoid. W is 6 years old and mostly the entertainment of our family in all his quirky ways. Will has an anxiety disorder and sensory processing disorder and is “on the spectrum” as they call it. I am convinced he has Asperger’s but so far I cannot get an official diagnosis so we will just stick with the three we already have!

As far as the name of my blog, it comes from something W says to me daily. If we do not go the same way EVERY time, it results in a total panic attack. I do this on purpose under the orders of his psychiatrist to try to de-sensitize him. It also applies to how I feel most of the time as I try to manipulate my way thru his world of neurological distress and anxiety. I think Will’s anxiety is contagious because I now must take a crazy pill every day just to cope with his anxiety!! Better living thru chemistry is what my mama always says!!

I am going to repost my note from Facebook at the end of this entry so that any of you who found me someway other than Facebook can get an idea of how much I adore my kids and how my little family dynamic works.

Thanks for joining me on this ride!


Repost from facebook:

Will's Story thru his Mommy's eyes

by Vicki Hand Morgan on Thursday, May 5, 2011 at 12:36pm

Many thoughts have swirled through my mind, as my baby turns 6 years old, about the fate of our little family and how truly blessed we are. I have had a moment of clarity recently and it all seemed so clear, if only for a little while. So I thought I would share my thoughts before they are clouded once again by the busyness of our lives.

When Will was born and started going through cocaine withdrawals, it was truly the most pitiful thing we have ever witnessed. His poor little body would involuntarily quiver and shake and his uncontrollable screaming was so sad. I hope witnessing this for Chris has squelched any temptations he will ever have to try drugs. It was a very profound experience for him to say the least. A true learning moment for Chris. As the withdrawals subsided, then came the physical issues of underdeveloped intestines and bowels. I won’t even begin to explain how horrible that was for him!! But we survived and brought him from taking 8 medications down to just 1 by the time he was two years old.

For years now, while most are doing the “normal” kid activities, I have dragged Will to countless interventions, therapy, scans, doctors, and more therapy. I am trying to create a miracle for my sweet Will, that miracle of being a “normal” kid. While Will takes center stage in my life because his problems demand it, not because I choose it, I try to make life status quo for Chris and Wade. There is no better big brother than Chris. He is so understanding with Will and teaches him all kinds of things. When you have a child with developmental delays, every moment is a teaching moment and Chris realizes that. Sure they have their squabbles like every pair of siblings but overall it is wonderful to witness their brotherly love. Even though Wade and I have a very strong marriage, a full time job of miracle-making is tough on it emotionally as well as financially. You can choose to let it divide you or come together and become stronger for it. I like to believe that we are stronger for it although sometimes that weakness creeps in and the exhausting responsibility takes its toll. But overall, we are one tight group, my little family!

There are times when I would just like to live life and things be easy but then we would not see the wonderful accomplished boy that Will is becoming. Whenever I feel this way, God has a way of showing me just how rewarding my life with Will really is. When he snuggles with me and tells me how much he loves me and I realize the huge emotional bond I have with my son, every minute of this life we have created for Will is worth it! I will have many years to “rest” and my purpose right now is to be the advocate for this little boy who was abandoned by his birthmother and God so graciously dropped in my lap.

Slowly Will is coming out of that lost place and becoming a happy, independent little boy. He has made it past the dark moments and is one of the strongest humans that I know and there are no words to tell him how proud I am of him. I know now that he is going to be ok and I hope that he knows how very much I love him and thank God for him every single day!! He has brought me love, courage, fortitude, and victory during his short six years and I know he will continue to bless me and Wade and Chris every single day!!

I love you my sweet boys, Will and Chris!!

Brothers 2011
First day as brothers 2005


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